no man determines your worth, but a good man can make you recognize it..

Potential Boo is now Pretty Much My Boo :) The date went great! I don't think I've been on a better date and if I have I can no longer recall it. He is even more than I had expected. (again is this really happening) I was beyond nervous..I normally tend to be shy around new people and it takes me a bit to get comfortable. I figure this comes from years of being beat down by douchebags and my huge need to succeed and impress(oldest child syndrome). Pretty Much My Boo, opened doors for me, had me order first and grabbed my hand to hold it.(and yes we shared a goodnight peck he he..) He was sweet and cute. We went to dinner first at Ruby Tuesday and then saw The Express. Both dinner and movie were good but were definitely enhanced by the company. He told me how beautiful I looked more than once and gave me some pretty sweet looks. I just can't believe that this all started from match.com..I mean really?!?! But how else would we have crossed paths? I honestly can't say enough good things about him or our date. And like the title says: No man determines your worth, but a good man can make you recognize it.. I now can say that this is the type of man I deserve in my life. This new relationship is very refreshing..It's too early to know where it's going, but I would like to keep on this path...and can I just say TSMOE WHO?!?!(However in no way is Pretty Much My Boo a rebound or replacement, he feels right, not just a right now. I had wanted to take things slow, but when you find someone that is pretty much everything you had tried to make the others be, you have to act now.) I have learned so much about myself in this past week, from him just treating me how I should have always be treated. Sometimes I want to question things, "Why would he want to like me?" But then I quickly remember that he does like me because I am a good person with a lot of wonderful qualities and a huge heart that I have been dying to share with someone, REALLY share with someone. He listens to my heart even when I'm not saying anything and for only knowing me for such a short time, I feel like he's known me for much longer. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in a relationship, but when things are right, you just know. I wish I could really put into words how I am feeling, seems like this little post does not put any of it into perspective, but I suppose that's how it should be. It's a special conversation between him and I. Just know that I am gushing rays of sunshine!

Feeling the horrible and knowing you won't die..

I have realized that, yes, I need to feel the pain of things falling through and then realize that I will not die..the world will not end and happiness does come back. Just as spring creates new life after the winter, I will create a new life without TSMOE and I will be ok. I WILL BE OK! I want to go outside and shout it, but the neighbors around here already talk enough so I'll just close my eyes and do it in my mind. Everything DOES happen for a reason, I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE. I needed to start to move on from TSMOE so that I won't miss the one that I'm really meant to be with. Thank God I am no longer allowing myself to be tied up in his web of lies while life passes me by. My bestie made a very true statement, he's mediocre. And there is enough mediocrity in life, why settle for more?!?! Exactly!

As for my suitor..ha ha..Through him I have seen the correct way to court and date. (well there haven't been any dates yet, but there hasn't been any "let's have phone sex" or "watch me beat off on cam" comments! Praise the Lord!) When I think of it, I really have never dated...I had serious relationship after sex relationship after serious relationship. I realize dating with kids is going to be harder, but I am excited at the prospect of REALLY dating and finding someone genuine that doesn't have to get in my pants the first second they see me! (Cuz let's face it, I'm fertile..let's stay away from any sexual encounters for a bit..) So PBFJ actually enjoys talking to me for hours at night and is sensitive to my Bubba moving(yes he is moving to Texas with his daddy and he'll come here for Christmas and the Summer..this situation is not something I want to talk much about because it is upsetting but I have to think of Bubba first and he is happy with his daddy and is going to have a blast in Texas. It's all about giving your children the best and letting them have as many life experiences as possible) So PBFJ says he has a surprise for me the weekend after Bubba leaves..I'm thinking he wants to take me to the Jags game which would be totally awesome!!! Let's all cross our fingers (I do realize that only 2 people read this..haha)

The whole point of this is that things are looking up, I am not in a pit of despair and I know I will be ok because wounds heal, tears can be sewn and made stronger, and all this will only make me better not bitter.