Feeling the horrible and knowing you won't die..

I have realized that, yes, I need to feel the pain of things falling through and then realize that I will not die..the world will not end and happiness does come back. Just as spring creates new life after the winter, I will create a new life without TSMOE and I will be ok. I WILL BE OK! I want to go outside and shout it, but the neighbors around here already talk enough so I'll just close my eyes and do it in my mind. Everything DOES happen for a reason, I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE. I needed to start to move on from TSMOE so that I won't miss the one that I'm really meant to be with. Thank God I am no longer allowing myself to be tied up in his web of lies while life passes me by. My bestie made a very true statement, he's mediocre. And there is enough mediocrity in life, why settle for more?!?! Exactly!

As for my suitor..ha ha..Through him I have seen the correct way to court and date. (well there haven't been any dates yet, but there hasn't been any "let's have phone sex" or "watch me beat off on cam" comments! Praise the Lord!) When I think of it, I really have never dated...I had serious relationship after sex relationship after serious relationship. I realize dating with kids is going to be harder, but I am excited at the prospect of REALLY dating and finding someone genuine that doesn't have to get in my pants the first second they see me! (Cuz let's face it, I'm fertile..let's stay away from any sexual encounters for a bit..) So PBFJ actually enjoys talking to me for hours at night and is sensitive to my Bubba moving(yes he is moving to Texas with his daddy and he'll come here for Christmas and the Summer..this situation is not something I want to talk much about because it is upsetting but I have to think of Bubba first and he is happy with his daddy and is going to have a blast in Texas. It's all about giving your children the best and letting them have as many life experiences as possible) So PBFJ says he has a surprise for me the weekend after Bubba leaves..I'm thinking he wants to take me to the Jags game which would be totally awesome!!! Let's all cross our fingers (I do realize that only 2 people read this..haha)

The whole point of this is that things are looking up, I am not in a pit of despair and I know I will be ok because wounds heal, tears can be sewn and made stronger, and all this will only make me better not bitter.