I fell off the face of the earth..

This is going to be pretty short..I have been really slacking and now there is just WAY too much to catch up on.

Thanksgiving was good, so happy I was able to spend it with The Boo. I have so much to be thankful and am just that, Thankful.

The weekend was okay overall. We now have a massive, ugly reminder of our first official huge fight. (Screaming, yelling, throwing things, punching bathroom doors and The Boo may or may not have cried[obviously I cried]) We did hug and kiss and make up and yes alcohol was involved. No one is perfect and if you don't fight then you're freaking weird.

I cannot get into the Christmas spirit, I want to badly. But it just doesn't feel like Christmas, one because I don't have my own home to decorate and bake to my heart's content in and two because I have no money to buy anyone gifts. Yes, I know that's not what it's about, but that always got me amped up, planning, buying and wrapping for the ones I love. All I feel is stress and anxiety for the day that is looming before me, what will I wrap up to give? I have seriously thought of getting a huge bow and placing it strategically on myself to give to The Boo, but that gift won't work for anyone else (ha ha)

I'm just going to keep praying something happens, something comes along and helps turn things around in the money department. (Please hurry!)

O M G

So much to say but do I want to take the time to sort it all out?? BLAH

The weekend was a pretty good one, but I would like to address my football team..My last game of the season was the Jaguars versus the Vikings this weekend. (by the way drinking all that alcohol made the loss hurt even more) I don't know why but the alcohol made me very angry. (Ok, I'm lying it wasn't just the alcohol but a culmination of things that got under my skin along with a losing football team and some alcohol) The game is not going to be in my best memories log that's for sure. It began with The Boo's ex calling the night before (unbenounced to me until she called the second time on this day) and saying she called on accident drunk and then announced she'd be at the game..(Um who the f*&# cares??!?!?) As women we all know there are no accidental drunken phone calls..there are just drunk dialing...moving on..Then when we got to the game, I sarcastically told a Viking fan I liked his face paint (really I was making fun of it since it was smeared down his face and looked like he'd been crying) but The Boo decided to tell me to find my own way home (yes, he'd been drinking too..this never fails to create the best fights, agree?) So then I'm mad and then the Jaguars miss two easy field goals in a row and it's all downhill from there. Some girl I don't know, didn't get introduced to either (a big no no), comes up and is all feeling on The Boo and saying how she misses him..(final straw) I start screaming and cussing how I'm going to beat some you know what (yes, while she is still standing there, the touching stopped) The anger did not, I took the rest of my anger out on The Boo and vice versa..needless to say we left the game early. So after a long car ride to pick up Boots, we ended up making up and everything was ok. We had a lot of fighting this weekend but they resulted in some break throughs in our relationship. So it all worked out in the end. (But I do say, I am dramatic and if The Boo still wants to stick around after it he's the one)

Now I have more drama going on with the rest of my life, I'm so stressed and overwhelmed. I just wish everything else could fall into place and some people (read: my parents) would cut me some slack. I am happy with The Boo, so be receptive to him. kthankspreesh!

And I don't remember Saturday night at all..

This was another amazing weekend for several reasons, one being it was spent in the company of The Boo and his (well now our) friends, I had oodles of fun, friendships grew, and I saw my Bestie. Friday I made dinner and it was pretty uneventful..Saturday we watched football (both the gators and badgers won!) and then we had people over to watch the fight (ask me who fought or won and I won't be able to tell you) I decided it was a good idea to pound down several sparks and who knows how many shots of cherry vodka on an empty stomach..(hence why I don't know what happened) I have been told that one second I was fine, shouting obscenities to everyone, telling them to "Get on my level" (oh how embarrassing) and then a few minutes later I was passed out, so unconscious I couldn't walk, had to be carried to bed, and then carried to and from the bathroom to hug the toilet. (oh yes and there was also several crying spells where I told The Boo he didn't love me) I am not sure what happened but I guess it was the empty stomach and the pace that I drank. Anyways...I woke up at 5 am, dying of thirst and still a little tipsy..and then back up at like 9, where I had to get ready for the Jags game..So I drank lots of water and caprisuns, made myself eat breakfast and was ready to drink again by noon! Tailgating was amazing! I got a surprise showing of the Bestie! So so so glad I saw her! And grew even closer to The Boo's roommate's girlfriend, let's call her Bananas! (She thankfully helped take care of me Saturday night!!) The first half of the game was fun since we were winning, the second half was not so much fun. Oh well, at least I got to spend it with The Boo and I can remember it!! haha, ok not really that funny but still..Monday we celebrated our anniversary! Yay! We got Outback take out and it was really yummy, watched Get Smart and went to bed fairly early...The Boo is wonderful..(if you didn't already figure it out), our relationship is wonderful, and my life is 100 million times better with him in it. (that about sums it up..)

Alcohol, Jags Football, and First Impressions..

Let's just say first off I've had the best weekend I could have ever EVER imagined! The Boo is an amazing being and I keep saying, "What did I do to deserve to have him in my life.." But what haven't I done??..I've always worn my heart on my sleeve, given my all, and wanted the same in return and HE is now staring me in the face..I'm throwing all my "wanting to take things slow" thoughts out the window because he is just what I've always wanted..I know there will definitely be critics, probably some that I'm really close to, but I have always followed my heart, I have spent years grooming my intuition and it can sense when things are wrong (I just chose to ignore it...A LOT) And nothing about The Boo is wrong..I can't really tell you anything I do not like about him. Sounding too good to be true?? I think that sometimes too, but I am living in the moment(ok not totally true because I can see this going very well in the future...) Since I have the experience of many failed relationships(and a failed marriage) I can honestly say this relationship is unlike any I've had before. It was always about me giving 110% and not getting much in return, about me trying to convince the other person I was right for them...The Boo already knows that I'm right for him (this being confirmed by some late night/early morning convos) I am letting him say certain key things first before I let him know how I feel, that way I know it's genuine and untainted. It's hard to explain to someone how I am feeling, there really aren't too many words for it..but to try to put it into perspective..I was laying with my head on his chest and I realized that that is where I was always meant to be..resting in the crook of his arm, head on his chest, listening to his heart beat and his breath rise and fall...listen to the life go in and out of his chest and realize that now I have something MORE to live for..I'm not just getting through each day for my children..I want to share everything with this man. And when you feel such strong feelings for someone like that, is there really any way to put a time limit on when it's ok to feel such things?? (By the way none of my feelings are clouded by physical things [READ: Sex] and when we do have that special moment it won't cloud anything up, only enhance everything) With that said I can now give all the details of the wonderful weekend..

Saturday was a pretty stressful day around the house, tensions high between my mom and I..I was SO very happy to be rescued by my knight in a shining maxima (he he)..After watching my college team (Wisconsin Badgers baby!!) finally win a game and break their 4 game losing streak, The Boo picked Boots and I up. I must admit I was a little shy again at first, but after spending so much time with him I don't think I will be shy anymore. We got to his house and I immediately felt welcomed by his room mates. They were all SO sweet and really interested in Boots, which greatly surprised me. This proved that The Boo must have said some really good things and made them understand that I wasn't just some girl. Boots did have a little fussy episode for a bit (I'm thinking she just got overwhelmed and overstimulated with the new place, people, and dogs) Once Boots had settled down though, The Boo took me to his boss's/friend's place to hang out. Again, everyone was really cool. I didn't feel awkward or out of place. We ended the night with a nice cuddlefest (God, I love sleeping next to this man...even if I could barely sleep because I just wanted to stay up and talk and be in his arms)

Sunday..(Funday..) started with us dropping Boots off at the sitter's, then off to tailgating for the Jaguar/Browns game..I was a little nervous, I didn't know anyone besides who I came with and all of them I had just met except The Boo (obviously) I did drink some alcohol(Let's just remind you that it's been a year since I've drank anything!!) I took it slow, everyone was watching me (I could have still used the Bestie though) There were some times I got irritated with The Boo, but he quickly apologized and made up for it.(Another huge thing, he doesn't want to fight, doesn't want me to be mad or upset and isn't so full of pride that he can't apologize and kiss and make up) So we tailgated for like 5 hours before the game..and I was feeling pretty good..The game was fun, The Boo gets a little rowdy, but if I could handle the Bestie during football, I knew I could handle him and I did (He kept saying he was worried that I wouldn't want to go home with him after the game..so cute) Now even though we didn't win, it was a lot of fun. I got to spend some time with The Boo and got to see all the things and people he had been telling me about. (Unlike boyfriends in the past who didn't really let me in on their lives) The night ended with me being a little excitable (a nice G rated way of putting it) and The Boo passing out, while Boots refused to sleep. (Taking care of a baby after having some drinks is much more difficult..) Needless to say, we all got to bed safe and sound sooner or later.

Monday, The Boo was supposed to take me home, however we quickly decided that we wanted more time together. So I patiently waited at his house while he worked. Once he got home we got somethings and I made him dinner (Spaghetti Pie..at his request) I was nervous since cooking for someone is HUGE and I had never actually made spaghetti pie on my own. So with the help of several calls to my mom, I was able to make it and it turned out good! Nothing burned or burned down (ha ha) We then watched some Monday Night Football and cuddled and talked til the early morning where we fell asleep and woke up still in each other's arms..(this has never happened to me, boyfriends of the past like to wait til they think I'm asleep and then push me off) Let's just say I didn't want to go to sleep, but passed out from pure exhaustion only to wake up a few hours later and be wide awake, wanting more and more time with The Boo. He brought us home early this morning before he had to work and it was really hard to watch him get back in his car and leave.

I can't remember feeling this way before..that's how it should be..past 'loves' and heart breaks are fading and all I want to think about or remember is HIM...and what lies ahead of us..(the only things I can remember is what they all did wrong, and he now does right) I am getting a little teary eyed just thinking about some of the things he said to me this weekend(yes, a good happy teary eyed..a my heart is full and overflowing teary eyed..a I never want to not feel like I do when I'm with him teary eyed) He keeps saying things are going so well, he is worried that something is going to happen to mess things up, but I can't even imagine what could happen. He makes me so happy that nothing...and no one could make me want something else..

As for how The Boo is with Boots..He is amazing..He left for work on Monday and kissed me and then kissed her..the sweetest thing ever..He was kind of unsure at first but things have definitely changed and I can see it and I like it..he is a good man and that's all I want for her..

My mom met him for the first time this morning when he was dropping us off and she told me that he made a good first impression on her..boyfriends of the past, she says, were so arrogant that that just was a foot ahead of them before they even started talking she didn't like them. The Boo, she says, is not like that at all, she got a good vibe and that makes me ECSTATIC! I really really truly honestly with every fiber of my being see only good things coming of this...I look forward to every text message, every phone call, the next time I get to feel his lips on mine, the next time I get to see him smile, and of course each every new day, every new milestone..for once I know that I'm going to have someone special around for the holidays..someone I can really share them with..someone that I can really fall in love with and it mean just as much to them. This right here..THIS is my new beginning..I have put in enough years of heart ache and I finally get to cash them in for the final prize.