no man determines your worth, but a good man can make you recognize it..

Potential Boo is now Pretty Much My Boo :) The date went great! I don't think I've been on a better date and if I have I can no longer recall it. He is even more than I had expected. (again is this really happening) I was beyond nervous..I normally tend to be shy around new people and it takes me a bit to get comfortable. I figure this comes from years of being beat down by douchebags and my huge need to succeed and impress(oldest child syndrome). Pretty Much My Boo, opened doors for me, had me order first and grabbed my hand to hold it.(and yes we shared a goodnight peck he he..) He was sweet and cute. We went to dinner first at Ruby Tuesday and then saw The Express. Both dinner and movie were good but were definitely enhanced by the company. He told me how beautiful I looked more than once and gave me some pretty sweet looks. I just can't believe that this all started from match.com..I mean really?!?! But how else would we have crossed paths? I honestly can't say enough good things about him or our date. And like the title says: No man determines your worth, but a good man can make you recognize it.. I now can say that this is the type of man I deserve in my life. This new relationship is very refreshing..It's too early to know where it's going, but I would like to keep on this path...and can I just say TSMOE WHO?!?!(However in no way is Pretty Much My Boo a rebound or replacement, he feels right, not just a right now. I had wanted to take things slow, but when you find someone that is pretty much everything you had tried to make the others be, you have to act now.) I have learned so much about myself in this past week, from him just treating me how I should have always be treated. Sometimes I want to question things, "Why would he want to like me?" But then I quickly remember that he does like me because I am a good person with a lot of wonderful qualities and a huge heart that I have been dying to share with someone, REALLY share with someone. He listens to my heart even when I'm not saying anything and for only knowing me for such a short time, I feel like he's known me for much longer. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in a relationship, but when things are right, you just know. I wish I could really put into words how I am feeling, seems like this little post does not put any of it into perspective, but I suppose that's how it should be. It's a special conversation between him and I. Just know that I am gushing rays of sunshine!

Now for the real post you all have been waiting for!

(I have decided that PBFJ needs a new, more affectionate name...but I have no clue what I should call him...because we are not officially dating [but as soon as we are..he will be The Boo..yea I know I'm stealing my bestie's term but I can't help myself! He's totally earning being called it!] So with that said let's say Potential Boo is his name for now.)

Potential Boo is probably the sweetest, cutest, funniest guy I ever met. (Well no we haven't officially met in person yet, so the sweetest, cutest, funniest guy I ever have spoken with) He makes me laugh for hours on end (yes he talks to me for hours on end EVERY night and can't seem to get enough of it). He BLOWS TSMOE out of the water! He is sensitive to Bubba moving and has planned a surprise for me the weekend after Bubba leaves. (I am almost positive that he's taking me to the Jags game..but I'm trying to be surprised.) He says that he knows I'm going to be upset about him leaving and that's why he wants to do it for me. He tells me he wants to be the guy I've never had but always deserved. (I KNOW!! Is this really happening!?!?) ((After further review of past posts I realized I totally repeated myself but oh well)) He's always telling me how when we aren't talking he misses me and can't wait til he can talk with me. AND here's the big one, he was supposed to go to a crush party with his friends (some sorority thing for single guys) but he doesn't want to go because of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok so I am trying to stay grounded..I did just get my heart broken..I have a lot of things to risk anytime I get into a relationship..but this one is too sweet to let get away! Every day things seem to get better and the pang from TSMOE is lessened..(Bestie was right)...I never expected to find someone worth talking to on match.com but maybe I really will make a commercial (ok that's me getting ahead of myself) I cannot stop feeling like a high school girl floating on cloud 9 though. (By the way the big date with Potential Boo is tomorrow night! Dinner and a movie..but I'm so excited and NERVOUS!! I haven't been on a date in YEARS! YEARS I TELL YOU! and this will be the big decider on if we continue and take things to "dating" status...so a lot is riding on tomorrow night..eeek!)

As for other parts of my life...Bubba leaving is fast approaching and if I think about it too much, my eyes well up with tears so I try not to think of it at all. I know it's going to be the hardest thing ever to say goodbye (it's only for a few months, but still..) He's not going to understand that this will be a long goodbye either. It kills me when he says things like "I want to come see you now, mommy." And he's only an hour away now..Imagine when he says that from Texas..My heart is heavy just thinking of it. I keep telling myself that I will get through this bad time and will have a good job and place of my own soon and then I will be able to keep him longer. Keep it on repeat in my head.

Boots is eating me out of house and home...She ended her nursing strike but with stipulations..She will only nurse in the morning and before bed..every once and awhile in the afternoon. The rest of the time she wants formula(ugh I hate formula with a passion..) But she refuses to nurse, therefore making my breastmilk supply deplete and making it really hard to pump any out..I can get about 2-4 ounces a day...I have no choice but to use the formula!!! And by the way it's not cheap!!

Speaking of money! Yesterday I trekked to the far away city of Brunswick to file my child support case against Emerson's dad..(what to call him..Dead Beat) ok so to file my case against Dead Beat. It was an almost painless process besides all the prodding questions, "Did you have a sexual relationship with anyone else? Were there witnesses to your relationship? Did he offer to pay for an abortion?" (Let me just say here, everyone everywhere wear a condom..maybe even two or even better don't have sex until you're married..sex makes babies and for some reason some people choose to not remember this) I do feel exceptionally smug because I'm sure Dead Beat thinks just because he isn't answering my calls and I never went to his house that he'll be able to get out of things...WRONGO..The case worker typed in his name and birth date and it took 2 seconds (I swear to God) and she had his address!! I could not wipe the smile off of my face. I am a little bummed because since I am now living in another state it will take a little longer for things to process..now it's just a waiting game. Justice will be served though!

Since I've kicked TSMOE out of my life things have turned around, I am not in a pit of despair any longer and I promise you this..I won't go back there again. I've ripped the rear view mirror off and am only looking forward...the potential is endless :)