Life is a runaway train, I can't wait to jump on..

I've jumped on the train and am holding on tight, this time I'm not going to let go. I may say I want to go home or get away but this is ALWAYS a ploy to get you to show you care...don't ever doubt that Boo. And by the way my residence may say St. Mary's, Ga but my HOME is with The Boo. I have already decided, this is so very right. I want to tell him that I want to be with him all the time, which is code for I want to live here..but something keeps telling me to hold on..I'm not totally sure he's ready for that and I don't even know all the work that would have to be done for that to really happen in reality...there would have to be a lot of talking and planning and well I just don't know how to bring it up..How do you bring that up, "Hey Boo I want to move in like yesterday and start our life together officially today.." Yea, it just sounds stupid no matter how I put it, plus a lot of it is my huge fear of being rejected which I have felt quite frequently..probably more of my own insecurities. He's so happy, he's not worried about physical relations (read:sex ha ha)..I'm so happy, that's all I can think of..In the past I may have wanted to have meaningless sex, but since I made the decision a long time ago (February) to not have sex anymore without a committed relationship, it's been hard for me to trust and even want to have sex...And now I trust, I feel safe and so that means my sex drive is through the roof..Plus for most women sex equates to love, it's how we express the words we can't find for the overwhelming feelings we feel. This being said..I don't want to initiate it all the time yet because of this fear of being rejected, even if that's not what he's doing on purpose, when we don't have it that's what it feels like to me. I'm not good enough, sexy enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, etc etc. Yes, I realize these are my issues, I need to work on my confidence but what girl doesn't want their Boo to ravish them, to come home and not be able to stand it, they have to rip all their clothes off and have them right then and there....I'm pretty sure that is every girl's fantasy..Now this is not in anyway me saying that there is something wrong with The Boo, because there isn't one thing I want to point out as being wrong. And I would also like to say that we have had some physical relations and they were more than I could have ever expected (not helping my already massive sex drive!) He seems to just get more and more perfect for me (I know you can go throw up now..I'm kind of making myself sick with all this lovey dovey talk)

So let's talk about the weekend..

Halloween...The Boo came to go trick or treating with Boots, myself, and the 2 sisters.(by the way he brought up going with us ON HIS OWN) Sadly hardly anyone was participating this year...how rude..Then we came back to his house and had those physical relations I mentioned earlier he he...

Saturday we watched the gators whoop up on the stupid bulldogs!!!! Gotta root for The Boo's team! We later went over to a friend's house and I got a little tipsy he he...I just want to say how much I love his friends, they are so thoughtful and sweet and I immediately felt welcomed. I don't know how to explain how major this is, but it is MAJOR. I've never really had that before and I think it's just another sign to add to the list of "Reasons why I'm meant to be with The Boo."

Sunday we were back at that friend's house watching the jags...lose...I don't even want to talk about that...

Monday I waited for The Boo to come home so we could go to the store to get stuff to make dinner, I am finding that I enjoy cooking and cleaning up for him...I might have missed it just a tiny bit, ok that's a lie...I miss it greatly. I miss having my own home to take care of however I want to and feeling like the queen of the house instead of a child in my parent's house.

Today...I am being lazy..as you can guess, I'm on here in my jammies feverishly typing away because I have to admit I've missed writing in this thing...ha ha how sad.

By the way I have three new favorite things:
1. Watch The Boo sleep
2. The Boo's freckles
3. AND (this is probably number 1) Watch The Boo hold Boots, probably the cutest, sweetest, best thing I've ever seen. Makes me look forward to a few years down the road (wink wink).

So back to the runaway train thing, I'm definitely on the right runaway train and I hope that the tracks never end and that the train chugs along endlessly. :)